Ian Johnston (ian.groups@btinternet.com) gurgled happily, sounding much
like they were saying : 

>>> He stops and comes back to confront me....

>> Not surprised. You've just committed criminal damage.

> No he didn't. He overbalanced while trying to avoid a car being driven
> at him and - most regrettably - hit it with the stick he was carrying.
> officer.

Ah, yes, of course...

Just like the tosser in the car didn't *deliberately* swerve at him - 
heavens, no, why on earth would he do that? And, of course, he was coming 
back to apologise when the nasty man threw stones at his car all 
unprovoked.