Items in rec.humor

Subject:1 To The Second, 3 To The Second Puns
Date:Thu, 01 Sep 2005 23:02:14 -0700
From:Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>
Newsgroups:alt.humor.puns,alt.humor,rec.humor,alt.puns,alt.tasteless.jokes,mn.humor

Michael Balarama wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:3FD24BB7.2632BF8A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Michael Balarama wrote:
> >
> > > Was sent this:
> > >
> > > Noted Doughboy Dies
> > >
> > > Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a
severe
> > > yeast infection. He was 71. Known to friends as "Brown-n-Serve,"
Fresh
> > > was an avid gardener and tennis player.
> > >
> > > Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in
recent
> > > years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs.
Butterworth,
> > > the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker,
the
> > > Hostess Twinkies, and Skippy.
> > >
> > > The graveside was piled high with flower as longtime friend, Aunt
> > > Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never

> > > knew how much he was kneaded."
> > >
> > > Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled

> > > with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie,
> > > wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes -- conned by those
who
> > > buttered him up.
> > >
> > > Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions.
He
> > > enjoyed being prodded by his many friends who invariably poked fun
at
> > > him.
> > >
> > > Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and
> > > another bun in the oven.
> > >
> > > The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
> >
> > May he Rise In Peace.
>
> He was puffed up

How much dough did he leave to his family?  How much bread did he win?