Ok, look. I admit I love Michael Moore but I can't voice that 
opinion outloud because I'm a card carrying Republican and they
have been watching me ever since the time I had sent a letter to 
Bush telling him how much I love him. It seems our party doesn't 
like gays and they mistook my letter as being of the gay persuasion.

I also admit I am a jealous prick. I hate foreigners because most
have bigger dicks than I do. It sucks having a nipple for a dick.
I also hate foreigners because they have all the brains and they
get all the good jobs. Sure, it's because most, if not all, are
intellectually superior to me and they work very hard but I am
American! Doesn't that mean something? If there were no foreigners
I bet I could hold down a job as top executive somewhere even with
my lack of education and my lazy attitude toward life.

I hate Canadians because they make us look foolish. They have
a good, stable country with almost no racism or crime. We have more
annual deaths by gunshots in a small village than they do in the entire
country.

I hate Europeans because they had the brains and foresight to form a
continental government and open the borders between their countries.
Europeans don't fight among each other. We Americans can't even
get along from state to state. We are seriously deranged.

I hate the British because crime is virtually non-existent there. Their
police don't even carry guns. We, in America, like to shoot eachother.
We have the most deranged criminals and even modern day cannibals.

I hate Australians because they are physically and mentally strong, tough,
and make us all look like pussies. They have laws that protect the interests
of their people instead of big business, like we do here.